I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
