Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize