Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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