He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
