I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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