Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
