i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
