You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
