he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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