you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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