I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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