I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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