Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
