it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
