you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
