like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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