I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
