Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
