i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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