all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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