His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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