Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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