I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
