Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
