did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
