You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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