Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
