Don't make out with my wife yet
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
