We're facebook friends in real life
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
