I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
