you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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