Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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