Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
