Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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