Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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