I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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