the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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