so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
