You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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