So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
