i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
