He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
