Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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