mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
