i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
