see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
