i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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