dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
