You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
