oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
