sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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