worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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