Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
