i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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