Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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