It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
