you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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