I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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