yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize