I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
