that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Are we still banned from the library?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
