does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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