We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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