Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
