Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
