he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize