Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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